Love

It seems like during the past few weeks I have had somewhat of a new lesson on what "love" means.
Maybe I shouldn't say new. More like richer or fuller or deeper or better..or maybe all of those things.
God has given me a lot of grace to begin to see life and purpose and just stuff in general more outwardly rather than inwardly. (Is that a word? I can't decide. Oh well.) I think what I mean by that is that I have noticed how selfish and inward my thoughts are and how often my decisions revolve around me and my life. And..I think that the reason I have noticed this area of sin in my life is because I have been learning a lot about love and what the heck that is supposed to look like. Two things have been really clear to me lately:

1. Jesus spent His entire earthly life and ministry taking care of other people. The day before Jesus was to be crucified, which He knew all about, Jesus spent time with His disciples. He prepared them and offered comfort to them for the hours ahead. Even while He was being crucified He took time to make sure that His mother was taken care of, and John. Holy smokes. I don't love people like that. When I am having a bad day or even have a big decision to make..my thoughts and prayers are focused on that.

2. (I heard this in a sermon a few weeks ago..)
God chooses to love us in such a way that brings more Glory to Himself -- because He knows that nothing will ever. Ever. satisfy us the way that He will. He won't let even the idea that we are loved become what we strive for. He wants us to love Him, and not anything else.

Thinking about God loving me this way and the idea that He will take any and everything else that threatens to take His place and consume it is terrifying. That He would even take the life of someone I love in order that I would love Him more is terrifying. I have a lot more to process with this idea, but I think it really has expanded the meaning of the phrase "God is good" for me. Does a good God really..really..do things like this? YES! He loves us..He knows what is best for us, and wants to give that to us (1 John 3:1, Matthew 7:9-11). It certainly doesn't always make sense to us, obviously. I have found it encouraging, however, to think about the things that God does (especially things that confuse me a lot) as a demonstration of how much He truly loves me and is jealous for me.