I've had a bad attitude about coming back to school since I left in May. And to be honest I haven't really desired to have a good attitude about it. Until tonight..
It's funny how God can totally change my mind in the course of about 2 hours.
We had a meeting tonight for CRU to do a little planning for the next couple weeks. We did some sharing about where our hearts are at, and it was so awesome and encouraging to see how God has put similar frustrations and concerns about where our movement has been heading in the past, and where the Spirit is leading. This summer I had been really praying about stepping back from leadership with Crusade until I had a conversation with someone I respect a lot. His response after listening to me tell him about my frustrations was, "Well good. I'm glad you're in that position so you can bring that up and hopefully start to change some things." So there was my real answer to prayer..(I had convinced myself that it was ok to just quit and leave..) And even after that converstation I still didn't really want to do anything about it. So. I am very glad that God has put a similar desire and vision on all of our hearts collectively as a leadership team. It makes things a lot easier.
However. I hope that I can learn to be obedient and sensitive to the Spirit even when it doesn't line up like it did this time. I'm really good at taking the easy way out, and it's too bad I'm not called to live like that.
So. Tonight has been pretty humbling for me. I'm thankful that God doesn't let me sulk over things that don't matter. Glory be. I'm excited about the plans God has for this place, and I'm excited to be a part of it. It's going to be so good.
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